[rock music]
Welcome to Spanish Club.
Today’s agenda, discussing the tango,
artist Frida Kahlo,
and a recap of last night’s Latin American soccer scores.
Everybody tied.
Lawrence, as a proud Latino, allow me to say
I don’t care about any of that junk.
When do we eat?
After we take attendance.
Tomika,aqui.
Freddy,aqui. Clark?
It’s pronounced "Clar-r-rk,"
which I would expect the President
of the Spanish Club to know,
even though he only beat me by one vote.
A win’s a win, Clar-r-rk.
Not even close.
You will never have the R r-r-rolling skills
of Clar-r-rk R-r-rodr-r-riguez.
Your last name’s O’Shannon.
Okay, next is Es--Es--
[stuttering]
What’s going on?
He has a huge crush on Esme.
He can’t even talk when he’s around her.
Getting nervous around a girl? Is that a thing?
Es-Es-Es-Es--
Esme’s here!
Let’s hit that snack table, amigos!
Nacho time.
Helping your friend time.
I don’t understand why you don’t
just talk to Esme already, Lawrence.
But what if she doesn’t like me?
How could she not like you?
You’re Spanish Club’s Hombre of the Month!
Either way, go for it.
I can’t.
Whenever I try to talk to her,
I get so nervous, I start sweating.
How bad could it be?
Hombre up.
Oh. Hi, Esme.
That’s a really nice, uh, nose you’re wearing.
Um, thanks?
I got it from my parents.
Sure is a hot one today, huh?
I’m cold actually.
Weather guy said we’re gonna hit a record low.
Well, how about that? I love weather.
Well, bye!
See? [chuckles]
That wasn’t so bad.
Really?
- ♪ Stop tellin’ me to read between the lines ♪
♪ It all adds up to one thing ♪
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- ♪ If you think you’re gonna lose your cool ♪
♪ Well, sometimes you gotta break the rules ♪
♪ Hey, show me what you know, give it up to rock ’n’ roll ♪
♪ ’Cause we ain’t gonna stop ♪
♪ If you’re feeling like you’re gettin’ schooled ♪
♪ There’s a answer right in front of you ♪
♪ Hey, show me what you know, give it up to rock ’n’ roll ♪
♪ ’Cause we ain’t gonna stop ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪ - ♪ Are you ready to rock? ♪
All right, let’s do this. One, two--
Hang on a sec, Mr. Finn.
Freddy, I think your drums sounded a little off yesterday.
You should test ’em out.
What? My drums sound fine.
[laughter]
Milk? Nice one, dude.
You got me.
Okay, we’re trying to see who can pull
the most epic band prank.
Guys, we don’t have time for pranks.
We really need to rehearse.
What the-- chocolate syrup?
[laughter]
[groans]
[laughter]
This isn’t funny!
Enough.
Battle of the Bands is two weeks away
and we need every bit of practice we can get.
Plus, I have to rent a new amp,
I have to grade your midterm papers,
which apparently means I have to read
your midterm papers, and I lost the keys to my van.
[laughter]
Mr. Finn, you’ve got--
A lot to do, I know!
So let’s just get some rehearsal in
before you have to go.
[school bell rings]
We have to go.
What?
We have music class now, you know,
the real one the school makes us go to.
Fine, go, but we’re rehearsing after school today,
and every day until Battle of the Bands.
And Freddy, clean that milk off your tie.
Take some pride in your appearance, buddy.
[playing classical music]
♪ ♪
You’ve all gotten so good!
It’s like you’re getting together
and secretly playing music.
[all chuckle]
What? That’s crazy.
Run to Mr. Finn’s room and burn everything.
Burn it to the ground.
Take a breath, Sparky.
I’m curious, how much do you kids know about music
from ancient times?
You mean like the ’80s?
My mom makes me listen to Journey in the car.
No. I mean the music prehistoric man played.
I am an avid collector of primeval instruments.
This isn’t an instrument. It’s bones.
But if you smack them together,
you’ve got some prehistoric percussion.
[coughs]
I think I just tasted caveman.
[screams]
I’d really rather not bang on this.
Oh, you don’t bang on that.
That would be disgusting.
You blow into the eye hole.
Gotcha. [chuckles]
Which hole do I vomit in?
Let’s see what you can do.
[prehistoric music]
♪ ♪
I think I just found my new band.
What? both: Huh?
I’ve always wanted to form a band that plays
this kind of music, and I think
my dream might finally be coming true.
- Well, if it’s optional-- - Not optional.
We’ll have our first practice after school today,
and if that goes well, we’ll practice every day.
But we have to practice with Mr. Finn
after school every day.
Don’t worry. I’ll get us out of this.
I’ll just turn on the Freddy charm.
Uh, Ms. Ipson?
Hmm?
I gave it all I had.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
What are you doing?
Come here, you’re gonna love this.
It’s show time.
Are you finally gonna tell Esme you like her?
What? No, I’ve got a way better plan.
Why risk talking to her and getting rejected
when I can do it the easy way?
all: Whoa!
Wow. What’s the hard way?
Now all Esme has to do is walk over
and tell me how much she likes me.
But she doesn’t know the birds were from you.
I’m not sure you’ve thought this through.
Tomika, please, I fit 50 wild birds
into a cramped locker.
I’m pretty sure I thought it through.
[all screaming]
[screams]
Good thing I didn’t go with the wild raccoons.
Ahh! Tomika, save yourself!
Go on without me!
Way ahead of you, bird boy!
Ahh!
[rock music]
What are we gonna do about music class?
I can’t handle that weird ancient windbag.
Don’t talk about Ms. Ipson that way.
I was talking about this ancient windbag.
[windbag whines notes]
Ahh, that sounds like Esme’s laugh.
Um--
What? It’s cute when she does it.
We can’t miss Mr. Finn’s practice.
You saw how worked up he got this morning.
I say we tell him the truth. He’ll understand.
Besides, I’ve been working on my skulling.
I’m getting good.
The key is jamming your thumb in the nose hole.
The other key is hand sanitizer.
We can’t go running to Mr. Finn
to fix this problem for us.
He’s already got too much on his plate.
So we’ll just handle this ourselves.
Why can’t we be the adults?
Yeah, we’re responsible.
We make good decisions.
I’m growing a mustache.
The point is, we can do this.
- Yes. - So agreed, we can do it.
All we need is a plan.
What if we go to Ms. Ipson’s practice,
but we play terribly? Like, crazy bad.
She’ll realize we’re not her dream band
and call off the whole thing.
That’s perfect.
In the meantime, we just need to make up excuses
to tell Mr. Finn why we can’t rehearse today.
Hey, guys.
What you talking about?
Nothing! I mean, something of course.
You can’t talk about nothing,
or else you’re talking about something.
Help.
Lawrence, are you okay?
Uh, no! He is super sick.
Mr. Finn, he should go home.
I’m not sick.
Oh, it’s worse than we thought.
One of the symptoms is thinking you’re not sick.
I don’t think I’m sick either.
Oh, no, it’s spreading!
[all coughing]
This is really bad, Mr. Finn.
I think we all have to miss today’s rehearsal.
Mr. Finn? Mr. Finn?
Rehearsal’s off. I’ll just teach you from here.
Open your books to page 87.
[rock music]
[prehistoric music played poorly]
♪ ♪
Wow! We sound pretty bad.
Stink City. We understand
if you don’t want us to be in your band, Ms. Ipson.
This was a horrible mistake.
Really?
We should have formed this band
at the beginning of the school year.
[slams keyboard]
Oops, sorry.
That song moved me.
Nobody knows what early man’s music
sounded like, so it’s open to interpretation.
Your music made me feel like a cave woman,
running from a saber-toothed tiger.
That’s how I feel when I give my cat a bath.
This is so exciting.
We’re setting up a concert this week for the entire school.
Our plan isn’t working.
We can’t be in her band and School of Rock.
Don’t panic, I got this.
Uh, Ms. Ipson?
Hmm?
I can’t even make my face smile. Everything is falling apart!
We should also invite Principal Mullins
to the concert. We need her approval
in order to be an official band,
and then we’ll have more concerts and more rehearsals.
From now on, this band is going to be your life.
[groans loudly]
Zack, stop playing that windbag.
I wasn’t.
[groans loudly]
[rock music]
What are we gonna do?
This ancient band is going to ruin our lives.
Nothing good came from ancient music.
Everyone who ever played it is dead.
How could this get any worse?
Your teacher could catch you.
Yeah, but that’s unlikely.
Mr. Finn’s not the smartest--
Mr. Finn, we were just talking about you.
all: Hey!
[all laughing]
[rock music]
Sorry we lied to you, Mr. Finn.
We were just trying to deal with this on our own.
Well, that didn’t work,
and now I’ve got a concert to stop.
Oh, why did this have to happen now?
We got so much going on!
[sighs] Don’t worry.
I’ll deal with it.
[knocking at the door]
Looking for Dewey Finn.
Oh, good, the amp delivery.
Lamps?
I said amps! [scoffs]
What kind of store do you guys run?
Lamp store.
[growls]
This is another thing I’ve got to sort out.
I’ll be fine. Excuse me.
I hate my life!
You guys, I don’t think Mr. Finn can handle
our problem right now.
We need to fix this Ipson thing ourselves.
I don’t know, maybe Mr. Finn will
be able to figure this out.
- I can’t figure anything out!
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[rock music]
Look at her. Everything she does is magical.
[sneezing]
[blows nose]
Oh, to be that hanky.
This has gone on long enough.
I’m finally going to tell Esme how I feel.
You go, Lawrence!
I’m proud of you for being brave and talking to her.
Oh, I’m not gonna talk to her.
[over PA system] Attention, Esme.
You light up my world.
Now I’m going to light up yours.
Wow!
"Esme, I like you"? That’s incredible!
What amazing person would do that?
I did!
I am that amazing person!
both: What?
Thank you so much, Clark.
That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.
You lose.
Really? You made that light show?
Why don’t you prove it, and do another light show right now?
Please, another light show would be pathetic.
Right, Esme?
I guess.
Yeah, totally.
Two light shows? How desperate.
Can you excuse me?
Take it down! Take it all down!
[rock music]
We figured out a way to use today’s concert
to make this ancient music band go away for good.
Ms. Ipson said Principal Mullins
eeds to sign off on the band to make it official, right?
Well, what does Principal Mullins hate
more than anything in the world?
The laughter of children?
No, she hates when things aren’t perfect.
She totally flips out.
Which is why she will freak when she sees this!
Okay, this is us.
Sorry, they ran out of guy mannequins.
How come you can’t be the girl?
Dude, come on.
So the plan is mannequins?
No, the plan is booby traps.
Better get out of the way.
Oh.
Whoa.
Cannon.
At the concert, those will be flying tomatoes.
And for the finale.
At the concert, that’ll be paint.
- [laughs] - Principal Mullins will hate
the concert so much, she’ll shut the ancient music band down.
And Mr. Finn will be impressed
that we handled it on our own like grown-ups.
It’s the perfect plan.
[screams]
This is why we practice, people.
[rock music]
[humming]
Why are you eating lunch in here, buddy?
I couldn’t stand watching Esme eat with Clark.
Everything I’ve done to make her like me has gone wrong.
Mm.
This would be a good time to say,
"Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be okay."
Everything’s not gonna be okay.
Wow, Mr. Finn,
your pep talks have taken a really sinister turn.
I mean not until you tell Esme how you feel.
No more gestures.
You gotta stand in front of her, look her in the eye,
say the words.
Look, Lawrence, you’re an amazing guy--
Slow down, this is good stuff.
"Esme, you’re an amazing guy."
Gotta be your words, pal.
I know it’s scary, but if you don’t take the risk,
you’ll never know if she likes you back.
You’re right.
Thanks, Mr. Finn.
Anytime. It’s what I’m here for.
It’s still good.
[rock music]
Thank you for coming, Principal Mullins.
I promise you are going to love these kids
and want them to be an official school band.
Well, they’re kids. I’m not asking for perfection.
- Oh-- - Uh--I expect it,
but I’d never ask for it.
Guys, about the concert--
Don’t worry, Mr. Finn, we’re handling it.
[laughter]
[laughs]
I don’t know why we’re laughing.
Uh, well, we booby-trapped the stage.
The concert’s going to be a disaster.
Principal Mullins will hate it and end the band.
Isn’t that a great plan?
No, it’s a terrible plan.
What was going through your heads?
Well, we saw how busy you were.
We had to do something.
So we decided to be the adults and take care of this ourselves.
Yeah, we’re practically grown-ups.
Have you seen Zack’s mustache?
’Sup?
Guys, you’re not grown-ups, I’m the grown-up.
It’s okay to ask grown-ups for help.
Even if I seem busy, I’m never too busy for you.
In fact, I--
- Excuse me, everybody, we have a special performance.
Before the show starts, I’d like to sing a song I wrote
for the coolest, smartest, prettiest girl I know.
It’s called "Esme."
[plays a single chord]
Just to be clear, it’s about you, Esme.
And this is how I feel.
[plays wistful piano]
♪ ♪
♪ I wanted to tell you something ♪
♪ So I tried way after way ♪
♪ But I just can’t hide what I kept inside ♪
♪ So here’s what I wanted to say ♪
♪ Make my whole day worthwhile ♪
♪ ♪
Oh, no, the booby traps!
Don’t worry, Mr. Finn, as long as nobody trips the wi--
I think I just tripped the wi--
We’ve gotta save Lawrence!
Mr. Finn, tomato cannon!
[gasps]
[winces]
Now in Spanish.
♪ [singing in Spanish] ♪
♪ ♪
Oh! No!
♪ I like your eyes and your nose ♪
Don’t--over there. Throw it away!
♪ I like the way you smile at people anywhere ♪
♪ You might sneeze a bit but I don’t mind ♪
♪ Because you’re sunny ♪
- The sandbag! - Mr. Finn!
♪ You’re one of a kind ♪
♪ Yeah, you make me smile ♪
♪ Make my whole day worthwhile ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yeah, you ♪
♪ You make me smile ♪
[cheers and applause]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Keep it going for Lawrence, everybody!
[cheers and applause]
That was fantastic!
And all those choreographed stunts
going off in the background
really added to the drama of the moment!
[laughing] Yeah, choreographed.
Well, I guess the show’s over.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no,
I-I wanted to hear this ancient music.
[all groan]
I guess we blew it.
We’re doomed.
I’m Hanz Glassmeier
from the National Museum of Modern Prehistory,
also known as N.M.M.P.
This school is using ancient artifacts
as musical instruments, a direct violation
of the Federal Fossil Fragment Preservation Act,
or FFF-PA.
Excuse me.
Ms. Ipson?
You’re violating F-F-F-PA?
[chuckles] I-I just liked the music.
I didn’t know we weren’t allowed--
I have a court injunction ordering you
to shut this band down!
Children, I’m sorry. Your band has to break up.
No.
all: Yay!
Oh. all: Aww!
Do you want to pay me right now, bro,
or you want to meet me late night at the graveyard?
Just go, Scabs.
All right, okay.
Excuse me.
You did this?
Told you I was gonna take care of it.
You have a friend named Scabs?
I have two, actually.
Okay.
- Ho ho! - Yeah.
That song was so cool, Lawrence.
I’m proud of you, L-Train.
Such a baller move, dude.
If I’m ever into a girl that much,
I’m totally gonna steal that idea.
Ohh, I can’t wait.
I mean, to hear how Esme liked the song.
I loved the song.
Oh, hi, Esme.
Did you mean all those things you said?
Of course.
Good, ’cause I like you too.
[romantic music]
Adios, Clar-r-rk.
[rock music]